By Paul Freeman [October 2016 Interview]

Steve Young’s new memoir - “QB: My Life Behind The Spiral” (written with Jeff Benedict) - is a candidly told, compelling, inspiring story that will enthrall even those who are not ardent football fans.

But when NFL legend Steve Young began putting together the story of his life, he actually was doing is just for an audience of four - his children. They were all born after he retired from the game.

For Young, busy with TV football analysis, philanthropic work and his role as a partner in Palo Alto-based private equity firm HGCC, penning an autobiography was the last thing on his mind.

Despite the Hall of Famer’s modest expectations, the book is highly entertaining - and enlightening. It takes the reader right into the huddle. The reader absorbs the sweat and pain, the pressure and exhilaration.

The memoir reveals the terrible anxiety issues Young faced, beginning with the separation anxiety that plagued him as a child, whenever he was separated from his parents overnight.

When he was 21, about to enter his All-American season at Brigham Young University (named for his great-great-great-grandfather), Young was a passenger in a car wreck that killed a friend, Jill Simmons, who had also been a talented athlete. In facing all the obstacles of his life, Young’s Mormon faith has helped him find his way.

One of Young’s heroes, his father, who just turned 80, was a college football star. His nickname is Grit. And grit is a trait that Young displayed throughout his gridiron career. He battled through injuries, including several concussions.

In addition to his determination and physical skills, Young has a photographic memory, a valuable asset for a quarterback in command of an intricate playbook. Highly touted entering the pro ranks, he had to endure early seasons with struggling teams - the USFL’s L.A. Express and then the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Finally, with the San Francisco 49ers, everything came together. Right place, right time. Wresting the QB crown from Joe Montana, Young persevered and threw a record-setting six touchdown passes to lead the Niners in Super Bowl XXIX.

Young returned to school to earn a law degree. In addition to his work at HGGC, he’s involved in a number of philanthropic pursuits. Young and Barb, his wife of 16 years, help children through their Forever Young Foundation. The non-profit provides academic, athletic, and therapeutic opportunities for children facing physical, emotional, and financial challenges.

When Young’s own children finish absorbing the “QB” memoir, they’ll be filled with admiration. So will the rest of his readers.

The NFL Hall of Famer took time to talk with PCC about his career, his life and the memoir.

POP CULTURE CLASSICS:
The process of putting together the memoir, did it put your life in a different perspective for you in any way? Was it cathartic?

STEVE YOUNG:
It’s interesting that you ask that question. I would never intend to do this. In fact, I’ve always joked that it takes a little self-inflicted hubris to say you’re going to write a book [laughs]. But it started very innocuously, because I never thought I would. But my kids were born after I retired.

So my nine-year-old came home one day, five or six years ago, and related a story he had heard at school about my playing days. And it was some anecdotal thing and I said “Well, geez, that’s not even close to like how it really happened.” And so I thought to myself, “My gosh, their whole lives are going to be hearing things. And I don’t have a diary or something I can hand them that would give them a sense of what my life was like - for them, about their Dad, not for public consumption or anything else.”

So that started the process of putting together something. And it wasn’t intended to be a book at all. It was just going to be a box of things that I had Jeff Benedict start collecting, just talking to people, talking to me, trying to kind of get a narrative going, so that you could recreate, essentially, your own diary of what happened, so that you could hand it to the kids. And, long story short, he handed me chapters. And I said, “Jeff, where are you going with this?” He said, “Well, I’ve had people read some of the chapters and I just think there would be a small audience that would be interested in it.”

And it really is intended for my kids. And handing it to them is… mission accomplished. So the rest of it, I’m walking through this tenderly [chuckles].

PCC:
What do you hope the takeaway will be for all the other readers?

YOUNG:
It really is a football life. It tracks my football life. So the takeaway would be that, in some small way, my experience was useful… or slightly entertaining. The intended audience has it in their hands. So I feel like I don’t have a lot of expectations, to be honest with you. I’m a little nervous about it, to be honest with you, as well.

PCC:
But yours is an inspirational story and certainly many of the qualities you displayed would benefit people in any walk of life.

YOUNG:
Well, I’ll leave that to the readers [laughs].

PCC:
The perseverance, the determination, the will to win - how much do you think you were born with those traits, how much were they instilled in you and how much were they the result of you consciously building them up like muscles?

YOUNG:
That’s interesting, because I think life does build on itself, by decisions you make, yet also builds off of what you were born with. I think I would answer by saying all of the above. There’s parts that are innate in you. There’s parts that your parents and those close to you kind of build off of and extend. And then, as you see the benefits of stick-to-it-iveness, facing challenges. And you get that feedback loop going. And then you’re like, “Well, boy, I’d better keep this up.” And so, in many ways, it builds on itself.

PCC:
The separation anxiety you had to overcome, do you think that contributed to the mental toughness you needed to succeed in football?

YOUNG:
That’s the part that I was reliving myself, because I didn’t know that that’s what it was until I was in my mid-30s. I knew I looked at the world a little different, when I was under pressure. When I was growing up, during the day, everything was fine. But then, when the nights would come and I needed to be home, when I was little, I knew that that was a little different. And I didn’t know how that was going to really work with what ended up being kind of anticipatory anxiety, how it built.

But it was definitely genetic, definitely something that’s in my family. It’s sprinkled around on my Mom’s side of the family. And I think having knowledge about it really helped. And you face it over and over and, in time, I think it’s been a net positive and a net strength, by walking through it.

PCC:
And it has now resolved itself?

YOUNG:
Separation anxiety, as a kid, you needed to be home. I don’t know how to describe that feeling I had as a child. But anyone who gets homesick would have at least an idea of it. I think through life, just having gone away from home over and over and over, under very traumatic circumstances, facing so many difficult challenges… In playing you feel a tremendous amount of anxiety as you prepare to play each week. And it would build on itself. And it became debilitating at times. Doing that over and over and over, your body does respond. Look, I don’t know if it can change your genetics, but I think it can definitely abate, it seems like, in my experience.

PCC:
And on the field, you can be so fearless and you’re so at home out there.

YOUNG:
Weird, huh? [Laughs] It was getting there that was the problem. And that’s part of the genetic thing. But once you realize that… it was really revelatory for me to find this sprinkled in my cousins and even my uncle, my mom’s brother had a heavy dose of it. And even in my kids - none of them have shown, except one of them, a little piece of it. So you just watch for it, because if you know what’s coming and understand it, you can see it coming a mile away.

PCC:
In forging the way past all the obstacles you had to face, how vital was your faith, your belief system, you religion?

YOUNG:
I think it’s a steady North Star. Life can be very complex and involve making very complicated decisions. I think having a North Star that never moved was really helpful to me. And it plays a role every day, because you know it’s there. That faith is an important piece of that puzzle.

PCC:
Being involved in a tragic auto accident in your youth, did that reshape your approach to life, give you a better understanding of its fragility?

YOUNG:
Interesting. It’s funny, this is one of my first interviews for the book. And to have someone ask me a question about something so personal, I’m like, “Oh, wow, I forgot that’s in there!”

There’s no question. Life’s experiences, especially the traumatic ones, tend to inform the rest of your life. And how I felt about that and how I dealt with it with my North Star, the faith that I had, it’s changed from that day forward how I look at things. I have another book to write, I guess, if I had to think of all the effects that it’s had… which I will not do, I promise [laughs].

PCC:
But did that event heighten your sense of purpose in any way?

YOUNG:
Absolutely. In fact, in many ways, making Jill - Jill Simmons (the 19-year-old driver who was killed; Young, then 21, a passenger, suffered minor injuries) was the one who passed away - I dated her sister and Jill, who was younger, was a dear friend. And she was a great athlete. And so, in many ways, going forward, my athletics felt personal to her, too. It was like I was representing her. I wanted to perform in a way that somehow she could participate. You know what I mean? Like there was something important that made it not just about me, but there was someone else now, kind of with me on this journey. So I think it did make a huge difference.

PCC:
And you mention in the book how you viewed the game more as a quest, even as a matter of life-and-death, than as fun.

YOUNG:
Yeah, it felt that way.

PCC:
Was that an advantage for you?

YOUNG:
Yeah, like anything, focus and investment. There’s physical investments. There’s emotional investments. And even spiritual investments. And being invested in a way beyond just working hard, where there’s actually these kinds of spiritual investments, I think it made a difference for me. I can’t speak for others, but it certainly made a difference for me.

PCC:
In college, going from eighth-string on the depth chart to All-American, did that prove to you that anything was possible, with enough work and enough grit?

YOUNG:
You know, my dad’s nickname is Grit, so I’ve really come to appreciate grit. Obviously everyone defines it a little differently, but I think generally people understand. And whenever I think of grit, I think of my dad. And when I think of my dad, he has a lot of gold in his teeth [chuckles], I don’t know why that is, but when he grins or grits, you can see a lot of it. And that’s what I think of, when I think of grit. And for me, grit has always been important. My dad told me at a young age, “I don’t care what you do, but you better do it with everything you’ve got. And you cannot quit.” And so many times, I wanted to quit. Now quitting, I don’t want to overstate it - you can just stop doing it. But quitting, just as a theme, I constantly thought, “I can’t quit. I can’t.” And honestly, I would have quit a hundred times probably, if I didn’t have that ringing in my head, from my father, that we just don’t do that. I mean, you can do a lot of things, but you cannot do that. So certainly, as you look at the totality of the book, that’s a theme running through. And one of my secrets to success, if there is one, is that I showed up every day.” [Laughs]

PCC:
He was really a role model to you in a lot of ways.

YOUNG:
Yeah, no question about it. Both of my parents, even today, we maintain a really close relationship. And that’s the blessing of having them both still alive. He just turned 80 and is doing great. And I don’t take any days for granted with him or with my mom anymore. She’s 78.

PCC:
And your mom, being so protective, so worried about injuries early on, that could instill fear in a child. How did you avoid letting that get into your head?

YOUNG:
[Laughs] I think I had enough genetic fear, that there was no room for any other fear! But my mom, there’s a story in there where my mom stormed the field, because somebody had hit me inappropriately. And she went and grabbed him. So there was a fierceness to my mother. She was afraid of the physicality of football, but she was not afraid of the competitive challenge. And my mom might be more competitive than my dad. My dad more gritty and no quit. But my mom really informed me on this idea that competition is good [laughs].

PCC:
The physicality of the game, that actually helped you deal with the mental stress?

YOUNG:
I think so. Yes. I think that there was some part of it, that you could expend yourself physically and that was somehow a showing to yourself. It was a nice outlet. In many ways, I can see frustrations in my life afterwards, that I couldn’t go expend myself physically to show my commitment to something. You know? It was like there was a lack of an art form there, that I had lost, that football allowed - that you could expend yourself physically to show how truly committed you were to the cause.

PCC:
In the more frustrating times, the difficult times in the USFL, then in Tampa Bay, were you confident that you were somehow still, someday going to reach the pinnacle?

YOUNG:
I wasn’t sure. The further I got, the more I was confident, I would say. I was less confident in high school. Had no clue. College - slightly had a sense that it could happen. But the longer I played as a pro, the more sure I was that I could go the distance. That’s probably true for anybody - the more you get into the profession and realize, “I really can do this.”

PCC:
And a touchdown in a key game, at a key moment, is that a rush like no other?

YOUNG:
Yeah. And we all share that. That’s what’s fun today even. Last night, I happened to be down at the game and ran into a bunch of people that were reminiscing about great moments that they shared, that I shared, too. It was funny, like, “Oh, I actually did that!” [Laughs] But their memory of it was as vivid as mine, which is a lot of fun, I guess in sports, and certainly in the 49ers of that time, there are those seared memories that people have of moments that are the same as I remember them.

I remember one of the guys last night saying, “I can still remember the smell and how it was kind of overcast.” And I thought, “Oh, my gosh, he remembers it just like I remember it.”

PCC:
For you, what was the magic of those years, of those 49er teams?

YOUNG:
Well, fundamentally, it was the platform that Bill Walsh [head coach] and Eddie DeBartolo [owner] built that allowed us to see how good we could get. This book brought that very clear to me that this was something I was able to use, a great vehicle on my quest. And I think the 49ers, the guys that were here ahead of me, like Joe [Montana] and Roger Craig and Ronnie Lott, they built something that I was able to use to my benefit, when I was there. And we’re all lucky, when things get built for human endeavor, to kind of aid and abet that kind of enterprise. You can spend a lot of years, toiling away without that, and never have that chance, so we’re all grateful for them.”

PCC:
The sense of competition with Joe Montana, in the end, was that a healthy, motivational thing?

YOUNG:
[Chuckles] Frustrating. Frustrating, but yet enlightening and invigorating. I would never have chosen it, thinking ahead of time that’s what I want to do. But looking back, I was informed - not just my career, but my life. Looking back, I would do it again. Looking forward, I wouldn’t have chosen it. So I guess that’s the best way to say it.

PCC:
The Super Bowl XXIX victory, did that seem like the culmination of everything you had worked so hard towards for so many years?

YOUNG:
If you really believe in the quest, it’s not necessarily about championships. It’s about more of a human endeavor. So in that way, I want to say that it wasn’t the culmination of the quest. But everything in life, it’s contextual. And there was so much culmination, I’d be foolish to try to parse that. Right? It’s like, “Oh, sure, Steve, tell me that the Super Bowl wasn’t the culmination of all that work.” So I guess my point is I would be foolish to try to parse it. It certainly was the flag on top of Everest. That’s for sure. If you’re going to climb Everest, you’re going to take a flag and you’re going to stick it on top. And you’re going to take a picture. And that was that moment.

PCC:
The induction into the Hall of Fame, did that feel more like the completion of the quest?

YOUNG:
No… Oh, boy, this may be more existential than you want to get, but I kind of feel like it’s moved on to other things. It’s constant. And the quest I’m describing is more about the self-enlightenment and challenge and growth and pruning and refining you look to do your whole life. As far as an athlete, that part is over, so I think that the Super Bowl as the moment and the Hall of Fame as a culminating part of my athletics, those felt equally like flags on top of Everest.

PCC:
Once you achieved stardom, did you enjoy the celebrity aspect, or was that challenging?

YOUNG:
I think it was challenging. I mean [pauses]… you can tell that this endeavor to do the book has got me thinking [laughs]. The answers aren’t quite as simple. But the fame part of it is a challenge to your accountability in life. Fame kind of steals accountability. And, if you’re not careful, you can really insulate yourself from the growing. And so fame can be a real stealer of growth. So I was wary of it.

But today, I kind of feel like Andy Griffith in Mayberry - that tells you how old I am. Even last night, walking down the street, everyone’s like, “Hey Steve, how’s it going?” It’s like I’m in a small town. The Bay Area is a small town. And people wave and say hi. It’s good memories and it’s a nice spot to be in.

PCC:
Did you feel a sense of responsibility to serve as a role model during your playing years?

YOUNG:
A hundred percent. I’ve had experience with Roger Staubach, who was my hero, who I had never met until later in my life. I looked at every poster, watched every time he was on TV, listened every time he spoke. He was my hero. And I tried to talk like him. I tried to walk like him. I tried to hold the ball like him. I tried to play like him. The impact he had on my life was profound. And I never knew him.

And so that really resonated with me, when I started playing. It was like, “Oh, my gosh, there’s me there somewhere. Someone’s got a poster, just like I did. And it informed all my behavior, to kind of pay it forward for what Roger Staubach did, without trying, without even knowing me.

And when I met Roger, I remember, with a tear in my eye, I told him, “You have no idea of the impact you’ve had on my life.” And I’m sure he’d heard that from people who felt that way a thousand times, right? But that was real. And that resonates with me even today.

PCC:
When you see that very small, but very visible element of the NFL getting into trouble, becoming a sort of negative role model, does that bother you, or is it just inevitable in the world of fame?

YOUNG:
We’ve got to live. Everyone’s got to live. But anyone who says there’s not an impact, I think is mistaken. The impact is profound. Good or bad, it’s profound. That’s the thing. When someone says, “There’s no impact,” then I disagree with you.

PCC:
And dealing with injuries, how concerned are you with this seeming epidemic of concussions in the NFL and NHL?

YOUNG:
Still learning a lot. With my concussions, even with neurosurgeons and the really elite brain specialists, the brain is a mystery. And so, we’ve been trying to get ahead of it. And science needs to help. But people are significantly more aware of head injuries, trying to be significantly safer and more careful. But what we are really worried about is this idea that you could not have episodic concussions and still have severe brain trauma, through just jostling every day, whether it’s soccer, sports, football, the CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) that people are talking about - that’s really unnerving for everybody.

And I think science really needs to help us try to get a handle on it, because everything in life, you want to have a general sense of assumption of the risk, recognizing that, “Hey, it’s risky, but I’m willing to do it.” CTE kind of throws that on its head, literally and figuratively, in that you have no concept of what the risks truly are. Episodic concussions are not good. There are risks. And I think you can try to understand the assumption of the risk. CTE, you have no idea. And that seems significantly problematic.

PCC:
And the culture of playing hurt and being there for your teammates enters into it.

YOUNG:
Exactly. We see the rigors around it. And I applaud the league in trying to make a protocol to be more careful. But the science hasn’t really changed. We’re still asking the same goofball questions on the sidelines - Who’s the president? What’s your name? Once you’ve decided that you have a concussion, of course, it’s dealt with a lot differently than it used to be. There are objective tests that are available today, coming out of Stanford, particularly, with the eye-tracking tests, that can give you objective results and they’re just not being used. We’ve got to get these technologies into the hand of the players.

And actually, Paul, one of my big pushes these days is to try to figure out how to get these technologies into everyone’s hands, so that they can have an objective test, so that they know.

PCC:
Once you’ve had a number of concussions already, as you’re entering another game, as you’re dropping back to pass, how do you try to shut out thinking about the possibility of injury and just focus on the play at hand?

YOUNG:
I think youth and adrenaline. And just part of the job is to be fearless. And so that’s the problem. You’re hitting on one of the things you’ve really got to be careful of, is that your fearlessness in doing the job doesn’t hurt you, doesn’t prevent you from making good decisions about your long-term health. And so I always felt like I had an eye to my long-term health. Today, knock on wood, very good. But I can’t say, until I live it out, when I’m 70, 90 years old, which is my intent, that’s yet to be seen. Playing football for a long, long time is rightfully becoming more of a rigorous decision in how to handle it. There’s no question.

PCC:
For all the violence there is in the game, do you also find beauty in it?

YOUNG:
Football, away from the physicality of it, just as a game of 11 teammates, multiple different jobs, working together - you can’t get there unless you all do it - I always say it’s the greatest team sport. People would argue with me. That’s fine. But the lessons are invaluable. And so I’d love to make the game safer in some way, possibly, because I’d love us to enjoy, not from a fan’s perspective, from playing it, all the things you can learn. There’s good things in football and I think we’re all challenged to try and make it safe enough that the assumption of the risk is something that we genuinely can feel good about. And so that’s the challenge. And we’re not there. We’ve got to get there.

PCC:
You’ve been working with HGGC, the private equity firm. Have you found that the attributes that served you so well in sports translate to business, as well?

YOUNG:
There is certainly crossover. In some ways, the metaphors all do work from sports and there’s tremendous crossover. And in other ways, there’s none. [Laughs] There are things that don’t connect at all. But there’s a lot of connective tissue in the two professions, that I use all the time.

PCC:
A lot of pro athletes have problems adjusting, once their playing days are through. You’ve been so successful at finding exciting new challenges. How were you able to do that?

YOUNG:
It was Roger Staubach. It was my dad, too. My dad always said, “When are you going to get a real job?” I was playing 10 years in the league and I went, “Dad, the dream has become the job!” And he’d say, “No, you still have to have something else, because even you play until you’re 40, you still have a lot of years.” And so that informed me to go to law school.

And it was Roger Staubach, as we developed a relationship. He’s done a great job of post-career life. He’s a great example. He’s a great hero of mine even today. And he’s the one who said, “Steve, when you finish playing, run.” And what he meant by that was, do not loiter around your career. It’ll always be there. It’ll always be a part of your life. But get moving into something else. Start the humble process of building something new. And that’s what I did. And I think that really helped a lot.

For information on Forever Young Foundation, visit www.foreveryoung.org.